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What are some funny and smart quotes?

09.06.2025 00:47

What are some funny and smart quotes?

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

Why do Trump supporters believe Trump should deport the immigrants? These people you call "illegal immigrants" have lived here for many years, they have houses, jobs, how can you think they will just go back to their country, where they have nothing?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

One day, I happened to walk past where my crush was with friends. Then all of a sudden they start laughing, and someone maybe him, goes "freaking (my name) with her freaking hair!" Can anyone offer insights into this? We're in middle school.

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

What exactly is the boundary men should follow while looking at girls so they don't call them perverts?

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.